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And when someone entered my room, I didn’t immediately close the book – as if secretly wanting someone to expose me.
I reread many episodes over and over.
For example, some moments from Pierce Anthony’s “Xanthos” cycle, moments obviously intended for teenagers, but which excited my childhood imagination.

Oh, thanks to my premature perversion, I perfectly understood why other people in his dreamland were so interested in the color of the panties of the heroines.
This is forbidden, which means it is so sweet? I also understood why the lack of panties brings some characters into shock – and why some slightly negative heroines openly flaunt it.
I made my first experience of walking without underwear at the age of eleven, taking off my panties at the entrance and shoving them in one of the compartments of the knapsack.

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At first, during the lessons, all the time it seemed to me that the skirt was about to inadvertently close and reveal my crime, but by the end of the classes I even began to catch myself on my light desire to lift her up to someone, as it were, by chance.
Well, that kept? Returning to the forbidden caresses of my body, one can say that I indulged in this so many times and in so many ways that I lost them a long time ago.
If at first I was attracted by the natural shame of this action, the danger of being detected, then with the passage of time this ceased to be enough, I began to more and more and more vividly imagine how they find me behind it, how they look at me – my parents, teachers, even school friends with classmates.
It was a stalemate.
I wildly wanted to be caught, I wanted to be looked at, but at the same time I understood that they would kill me if this happens.

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I do not remember exactly how old I found a way out? It seems that I was sitting in the kitchen, the TV was quietly working, pea soup was slowly cooking on the stove.
My father was at work, my mother went to a distant supermarket for cheaper vegetable oil, which promised to drag on for at least half an hour.
I looked out the window at the guys who played football.
Among them was Vlad Karasev from our class, which I always vaguely liked.
With sudden movements, like giving the ball, his vest and strived to peel off the blue trousers, and the pants slipped a little, showing the ribbon heats.
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