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I left a note with my cell phone number and email address encircled in a heart.
In the crowded airport shuttle my night in Denver scrolled through my memory like a romantic fantasy.
My future loomed like a blank page. Lesbian psycho therapists girlfriends films.
I phoned him from the gate and got his voicemail.
“Hi, it’s Alexandra, boarding.
Wish we’d had more time, maybe someday.
Happy memories, though.

” I couldn’t call it love, for had I loved him, or the experience? Black horny girls. He could be mutilated in an Afghan ambush, or the camaraderie of combat and the transphobia endemic in the military could change his mind.
Love would burden both of us.
We needed to be free.
“OK, that’s all for now. Leo man dating leo woman.
Bye.
” I wiped away a tear.
I had been lucky to find Jake.
Would I ever be so lucky again?


Sandy “Why did you invite Travis to our home?” I ask wondering about his motive.
David smiles and places his hand on my leg. Family dirty talk.
“Do you think Travis is handsome?” “He’s good looking, and he couldn’t take his eyes off of me,” I slur.
“Is he as handsome as Rex?” He looks at me.
“No, not really, but he’s attractive in his own way.

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